Marking Time

This is a very bizarre day. I want to curl up in ball in a corner somewhere. Retraumatized from all the 9/11 rehash that's been on TV. I could turn it off, and have...maybe not for the last time today. Saw the Falling Man last night. That had me crying. And remembering.


The morning of 9/11 I was at home. I didn't have to be at work until 3 so I was relaxing on the couch. The fact that I - and my roommate was - was awake at all is amazing. Neither of us saw day until at least 11 am or so.



But we were both up and I was watching TV. I knew immediately that something major was going on as soon as I turned to TV on, so I switched to CNN and there it was. The towers, the planes, the tragedy enfolded in front of me.



My jaw dropped at the sight, the commentary. I knew it was happening for real, but didn't want to believe it. My only thought at first was for all those people. Then the unthinkable happened when the towers dropped to the ground. Unimaginable is more like it. Still, to this day, it seems impossible that such a thing should have happened.



I called my mother. It was the only person I could think of whose voice would offer me some solace. She was as shocked as me. I heard it in her tone. A while later my job called to tell me not to come in that day. They, and the entire country, seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Wondering where it would happen. When. How. A bank as high profile as the one I was working for at the time needed to protect itself (including its people).



Six years later the shock is still there. The pain. Indeed, the pain has deepened because on top of the people who died in the initial attack there has been all the soldiers fighting overseas. Some say pointlessly, some say with purpose.



Regardless, they're still dead.

Late Late Late

These posts are from my festival experience in 2006. It has taken some time to put them up. I went to festival this year too, but didn't write nearly as much about it.

Wild Ending!!

I had a stroke in Denver. The train stopped to pick up passengers and let people off. I got up to go to the bathroom and I passed out! It was midday on Thursday.

Things I am thankful for:

-Being alive
-That I had stopped in a major city and wasn't out in the middle of Bumfuck Small Town, America.
-That my mother came and picked me up.

Hit & Stay for Hours (Leaving Pt 3)

Went to Potbelly's for lunch. I had a few hours to kill before my next train headed out for Cali. On the way out the train hit a car. Killed the car's two of the car's passengers. At first the porters walking up and down the isle wouldn't say what had happened. After about twenty-thirty minutes all they said was it was a "minor mishap" that was delaying us.

Minor my ass - It made the news!

http://www.nbc5.com/news/9690355/detail.html

The mobile crime scene van arrived. I couldn't see anything. Too far back. All I saw was police walking back and forth. Chicago's finest. And the ambulance that rushed by. I smelled a lot of gas. Probably from the car we hit? Technically, we're in Berwyn, just outside Chicago.

After three hours we were finally on our way.

Train Ride Home (Leaving Pt 2)

I’m on the train now. Going home. Exhausted. I am glad to be leaving Grand Rapids, but not the festival. I would like to drive to the festival next time. That would be the most fun. Then I could bring whatever camp gear I wanted, as long as it fit in the car. My ultimate dream is to take a camper. I kept passing by the RV section and wishing I had one of those to go back to at night.

My tent was definitely too small . Next time I’m getting a tent condo! The two-room kind I had before.

Back in the Hotel (Leaving Pt 1)

Cushy bed, carpeting, TV, Pizza Hut, cold Pepsi.Out of the elements. Thinking about last night and listening to all those stories around the campfire about past festivals. Apparently, Janeway does have quite the reputation. She walks around talking to herself. The joke was she was talking to herself because no one else would. She was expecting people to cater to her because she was a semi-celebrity. Cokehead.

Tomorrow morning I’m off for good. Take a cab to Amtrak. I could have listened to those stories all night. I hear there’s some kind of music festival out there.

I am currently basking in the glory of getting my tent completely back into its incredibly tight canvass bag. Course now I am worn out. I have at least twenty mosquito bites on each leg from my long romp in the forest.

Processing the Hell Out of EVERYTHING!

Fucking dykes! The shit that blew up yesterday keeps expanding. Helen got yelled at and now she’s got to go around explaining her side. And now this is all that anyone on my subcrew is going to be talking about for the rest of the festival!

I actually thought the prank was kind of funny. Very much something a teenager would pull. But I guess legally the Coordinators have to put their collective foot down about it.

Went to Hart this morning for breakfast. Had corned beef hash and bacon (there were some eggs in their too, but I was mostly interested in the meat). The towns folk were staring at us with great curiosity. The real world awaits me in two days. I am not looking forward to it.

Decatur gave Xena and Scary Spice back…Jude was not very happy about it. We’re supposed to get a pizza out of it.

Tomorrow I work the day shift, we all do. No one without a pass gets in. Everyone else can only go out. The Festies have to be gone by high noon, or 1.

Janeway and Kisser, now there’s an interesting combination. Apparently Janeway rolled through like a regular festie this year and was expecting people to treat her like a performer. Unfortunately, some did. But Janeway does have a reputation for being a real bitch in general.

I haven’t visited the WOC tent since I been here. I’ve been way too busy. Movies under the stars tonight. Today and tomorrow there is going to be a serious mass exodus.